Tuesday, May 2

Daily Farm Photo: 5/2/06


Bruisie's Baby Girl: 4/22/06 to 5/2/06

Lamb Report: I thought the nightmare was over. It is not. Bruisie's baby girl disappeared without a trace in the night, despite all of our precautions. (Click here and here if you'd like to see the previously posted photos of her.) That makes three ewe lambs lost to a predator since April 12th. And it always seems to be the favorites. The ones who nibble on your chin when you pick them up because they half imprinted on you while you spent hours caring for them as struggling newborns. She was the softest lamb I have ever held in my life.

I have lived on a farm with animals for the past 12 years. And while we are often surrounded by incredible beauty and wondrous joy, I am more than accustomed to waking up to tragedy and loss. But it just doesn't feel right to celebrate and show off these tiny, adorable lambs and then have to tell you of their demise. Or to put up photos of something else and act like everything is fine. Because it isn't. Bruisie can't stop crying for her baby and neither can I. Current Lamb Count: 19.

I think I am going to have to take a little break from blogging.

57 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry, Susan. I understand if you need to take a break, but I hope it's a very brief one. It is sad to hear about bad things happening, but on the other hand, it gives us a sense of solidarity when something bad happens to us. At my place, we have just had some bad news about our beehives, and we are certain to have sheep crises sooner or later. But knowing you are out there somehow makes me feel a little stronger.

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  2. aw crud :( :( I'm so sorry...

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  3. I am crying along with you and Bruisie and am sending you both big hugs. Please keep each other company as your hearts are breaking for this baby, and hopefully find comfort with the other lambs. There isn't anything but sadness to speak of, but know you will be missed on your break. My prayers are with you all.

    Felice, Portland, Maine

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  4. I've been keeping up with your daily life from work, it always puts me back in nature where I love and long to be. Your news today felt like the weight just got heavier and I understand and encourage a break. My heart is breaking too - she was a spectacular baby. And there's nothing more heart wrenching than a mother's cry that has no remedy. It is the way of the world but that doesn't make it any easier. My love to you. Kathleen

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  5. Susan,

    I'm so sorry to hear about Bruisie's baby... I keep hoping that after you deliver one of these bad news blogs that you'll report back in a short while with good news - that somehow that baby just got separated and lost for a short while, and somehow you missed it in your hunt. Let's hope that happens this time... :(

    My thoughts go out to you...

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  6. Take a break for YOU, FarmGirl, if you must -- but not to protect those of us who are charmed by the window into rural life, its ebbs and flows, it births and yes its deaths. In our highly branded, highly packaged, highly commercialized, highly structured, highly organized, highly technological, highly "on" lives ... the lamb reports, good and bad, I think, remind us of the fragility of life and that 'farming' shouldn't be viewed through the romantic lens it so often is. Still, yes ... the eyes are wet at the loss of Bruisie's baby ...

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  7. Damn it Farmgirl, not again! Innocence snatched away again. This part of your farm life has to be one of the most difficult to accept. My thoughts are w/ you....

    Bruno

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  8. I'm so very sorry. What a crushing blow, not the way anyone should start the day.

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  9. Seems everyone has said it for me.
    Dang those predators taking your babies.
    We have lost many cats to coyotes, now we keep Rocket indoors.
    Susan,I am a competetive shooter and when I hear stories like yours, my first reaction is " I would like to use those predators as target practice" but in my heart I know I can't kill anything.
    Hang in there, and do take some time for yourself.
    warmly J

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  10. I am so sorry. Bruisie's little girl was my favorite, too. Hugs.

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  11. If there's anything we your humble readers can do, just say the word. I'm so very sorry.

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  12. Aw shit Susan, that sucks, they break our hearts don't they. Take a break, but come back soon...there'll be a reason, there always is. X

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  13. So sorry to hear it... Yes, we can think logical thoughts about why predators do it, it's the natural cycle, all that, but it's still HARD when it happens. Very sad... best wishes to you and the other critters.

    Come back to blogging when you're ready so that we can continue to share these little glimpses and maybe help process some of it with you...

    Peace!

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  14. Oh I am so sorry to hear about your loss. HUGS!

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  15. Oh, Susan. Oh, the poor little lambkin. I'm so sorry.

    Take a blogging break if you must. We will be here thinking of you and your wonderful creatures, and waiting for you to come back whenever you are ready.

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  16. Susan, I am so sorry to hear the news for you and Bruisie.

    Nisha

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  17. I'm so very sorry to hear that :(

    Giant {{{HUGS}}} to you and Bruisie.

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  18. I eagerly read about your farm life daily, but have yet to comment on your wonderful blog. I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am for the misfortunes for you and your sheep this spring.

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  19. How sad Susan. There is nothing worse in life than losing one's children - two or four legged. Even with these losses you still open a window to all of us in blog-land to the wonders of the cycle of life. Your farm, animals, plants, photos bring us a daily little jewel of joy. We grieve with your losses too and offer our collective love, strength and support to this latest loss.

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  20. I am very sad to hear about yet another one of your precious lambs. I appreciate so much your sharing your farm life, the good and the bad. I'm at the point in my life where an uneventful day is the absolute best kind!

    Damn predators.

    I hope you will rest. Sometimes it's just best to be silent for a while, feel what you have to feel, grieve what you've lost, take some time to heal, and go forward.

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  21. Damn....

    Thinking of you, so sorry.

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  22. So so sorry, I loved her too.

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  23. Sorry about your lamb. Hope your break refreshes and renews you.

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  24. I am so sorry... my heart goes out to you. Best wishes, and know that all your readers (silent or not) are thinking of you.

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  25. Well hell... that's not what I hoped to see when I popped on here but I can't say I'm surprised. You've been a very good teacher of life on a farm so I'm learning to accept the heartships, even if from afar.

    Do what you need to do to keep up your momentum. You've got a history of success to rest upon for a brief moment but as you know, life goes on.

    Peace.

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  26. I am convinced that there is a very special place in Heaven for the young... I just wish that it didn't leave life on earth feeling like Hell for those who are left behind. Our thoughts are with you...

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  27. Thought all day about the lost lamb and how sad that would make you feel. I have only come to your site this spring and have so enjoyed the pictures and glimpses of new young life. There's nothing to be said that will take the ache away, but lots of us are sad with you, as you can see by all these comments. When you're ready post again, thanks for glimpses of beauty, gentleness and such a sweet little lamb.

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  28. Im so sorry...I done even know that I can add anything else to what the others have said. But just know that Im thinkng about you today. ((((hugs))))

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  29. Oh, BB, I am so sorry to hear this. I learned long ago that the only kind of "farming" I could ever do would be plants, or chickens only for eggs.

    I had my beloved Pascale breed many years ago....and the puppies were my grandchildren, not a "litter."

    This is why I don't watch Animal Planet...the food chain is cruel.

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  30. 'Lil baby spots
    such a short life
    know that in your
    sad time--
    you made her life
    a good place
    to be.
    Paint

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  31. Oh no. I felt so sad when I opened your page and read that line. I cant imagine how sad it makes you. So Sorry to hear it.

    Big hugs to you and all your adorable little lambs.

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  32. Dear Susan, I feel so sad for you. What a tragedy. These lambs are so adorable. And it must even be worse for you since you evidently do not know what and how it happened. Many many hugs to you, angelika

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  33. Very sorry for your loss. Every time this happens a light goes out.

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  34. I'm so sorry. Take time to try and deal with this new blow. But, never think we are unable to share these sad moments with you. Your blog is very important to so many people. I was just talking about you last night to a woman who reads you every day---and she is a totally urban person who would feel lost on a farm. But, she loves your blog. Take care, don't forget there are so many people who will be thinking about you.

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  35. Oh no Susan, not another one! I'm so sorry for you and Bruisie..
    Hugs

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  36. OH honey..I'm sorry (())

    Denise in TN who reads your blog daily..

    hang in there sweetie

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  37. I am so sorry, Susan. Poor little baby!

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  38. I can see why it's dangerous to become sentimental about domestic animals, and that we should respect both prey and victim in the natural course of nature, but lambs have always represented the most gentle of creatures.

    Perhaps it's some small consolation to recall how historically art works and literature about Heaven and Paradise have always prominently featured lambs.

    Hope you feel better and are bacl online soon.

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  39. So sorry to read of your loss!

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  40. Susan,

    I'm so, so sorry. I'm thinking of you.

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  41. Oh Crap. Sometimes Life just doesn't make sense, does it? *HUGS*

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  42. I'm so sorry to hear about Bruisie's baby girl disappearance...

    Life is surely not always very funny and I hope you get over those difficult moments in the best way possible!

    Thinking about you and your sheep...

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  43. My heart and hugs to you.
    Friendship means sharing both the good and the bad times -- and you've shown all of us readers what a good friend you are to us.
    We've smiled and rejoiced in your happy entries, and we're all wishing we could give you a hug now.

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  44. Susan- This must be so hard...I am thinking about you often.

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  45. oh, just so sorry I can hardly stand it, so I can't even imagine how you feel. So yes--please feel free to take a break, but know that all of these virtual, far-away people are thinking on you with great sympathy. I am sitting here teary-eyed in front of my computer. Still, I don't think any of us wouldn't want to hear the sad, difficult stuff too. I'm another avid reader--a city girl who loves the daily dose of country life--and it wouldn't be right if you just gave us all the sunny stuff.

    Damn, though--I am PISSED at these coyotes.

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  46. Hi Susan --

    Just found your blog and love it. I am so sorry about Bruisie's lamb...

    On a separate note, made your pita recipe and it was delicious! Really actually tasted like pita, instead of just like flour and water the way some other pita recipes I've tried did. Had very mixed puffing results -- some puffed but only in part of the pita, but my husband and I just made pita pizzas out of them, with a chickpea/lemon juice/parmesan dip spread over them and some munster cheese on top. Super yummy.

    I find your whole site inspiring. My husband and I did a mini-version of what you have... This past fall we moved from a city lot in Providence to 6 acres in Central NY State and a huge old victorian home, with the goal of gardening and working on the house and just generally enjoying country life. It has been wonderful! We are both lucky enough to work from home part time, and the rest of the time are dedicated to all sorts of fun house projects. I love to cook, make quilts, can fruits and veggies, etc etc. Anyway, just wanted to let you know how much I've appreciated finding your blog, and consider me a regular from now on!

    Emily

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  47. Am so sorry that measures have again been breached by what ever is getting your little girls. Maybe its time to consider building a "live trap" and use an ewe and lamb as bait. Since whatever it is -- is only after the lambs then you should know soon what would be getting your babies. We all know that your dogs patrol the farm. I hope that the culprit is taken care of soon.

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  48. This is so sad .My heart goes out to you.Hugs...

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  49. We also raise sheep and one year had newborn lambs that were disappearing like that and finally had a trapper out to look at one of the remains-- he said raccoon. We were shocked as had no idea they would do that, but it's why it didn't disturb the sheep at all. They didn't think of it as a predator. My husband ended up shooting two of the raccoons, and the predations stopped-- one in the act of trying to drag off a newborn lamb. Once they start, they won't stop. Sometimes the predator is something you don't expect. It's an amazing thing sometimes what will get newborns and yes, very very depressing

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  50. Everytime I pass a farm with animals on it, I think of your blog. I gound your blog through Interrupted Wanderlust, and am so glad she wrote a post about you to introduce other readers.
    I enjoy your photos immensely, your recipes are inspiring. I live in the city centre of Toronto, so it's refreshing to come visit the farm everyday (even if I don't leave comments...)
    I'm sorry that your little lambs are in danger. It must be so worrisome for you. I feel sad too for your little ones, and hope that everyone will soon be out of danger.
    take care.

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  51. I'm so so sorry about Bruisie. I can't even imagine how much her mama and you must be mourning her right now. :(

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  52. I'm really so very sorry about the wee ones that have been disappearing. I hope you will continue sharing the good and bad with us. I hope a break refreshes you.

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  53. Oh, Susan, I'm so sorry. They are all such beautiful creatures. *hugs*

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  54. Dear Susan:

    As a fellow blogger (Eastside Farm Chronicles) I too am torn when I write about the joy of my little hens, only to find the one I just wrote about killed by rats. Or my little kitty whose picture appears on my blog has been running out in the road in front of the house and was killed. These are all part of the cost of living on a farm and having a huge heart. Please continue to share your triumphs and tragedies. This is the real world and I so appreciate that you have the courage to share it. Hang in there and keep writing.

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  55. bruisie's baby was the sweetest prettiest thing i've ever seen I will say little baby prayers for her.

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December 2015 update: Hi! For some reason I can't figure out, Blogger hasn't been letting me leave comments on my own blog (!) for the last several months, so I've been unable to respond to your comments and questions. My apologies for any inconvenience! You're always welcome to email me: farmgirlfare AT gmail DOT com.

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